Earlier this week, I went to a parent education night at a school in our community, and listened to a riveting talk by Madeline Levine, author of The Price of Privilege.  She painted a pretty dismal picture of the state of mental health of teens in our country these days.  I’ll start you off with the depressing parts so that we can get them over with…and then you can learn about how you can make a difference.

Although parents want to “do right” by their children, there is a growing trend towards over involvement and micromanagement.  Kids are over-scheduled, with every moment taken up by classes, extra-curricular activities, tutoring and homework.  Parents feel pressure to compete with their friends and colleagues, and to have their children stand out from the crowd.  It’s hard to imagine, but parents are building a “resume” for their children, which they falsely believe will set them up for a more successful future.

The unintended consequence of this type of behavior is that children don’t have time to work on their “normal developmental skills,” such as sharing, cooperation (vs. competition), tolerating frustration, impulse control, time management and decision making.  The cumulative effect of the pressure on performance instead of progress and this busy schedule is a decline in mental health.

Recently there has been a 76% increase in suicide in 10-14 year old girls.  One out of four girls in middle and high schools is depressed, and one third have anxiety disorders.  These insane statistics result from a culture in which “stuff matters more than people and competition matters more than cooperation.”  But what would happen if we lay off a little bit?  Perhaps if your child comes home with a “C” on a test, you might want to re-think threats such as, “you will be flipping burgers for the rest of your life.”

Okay – I know you didn’t come to my blog with the intention of leaving totally depressed.  So, as I usually do, I shall offer some suggestions.  You can thank me later.

Levine acknowledges that it is difficult to deviate from the culture, and says that it can feel like you are a salmon swimming upstream.  ”But the fact is (known by both researchers and anyone who has really paid attention) that children should have chores, be respectful, work for their privileges, and accept their level of ability even as they seek out challenges. They need to feel that they are loved for who they are, not simply what they do.”

She insists that we need to find ways to reconnect with our families, and suggests that we start with shared mealtimes.  Shared mealtimes are “the single most potent factor in promoting a healthy family.”  Having dinner together 5 nights a week improves interpersonal relationships, improves grades, decreases depression and builds a sense of community.  And studies show that even if your child doesn’t act like they care what you think, the family is the first community that they go to for support.

Give the family meal a try – and while you are at it, show your kids that you value things like creativity, imagination, and kindness – not just a perfect score on a test or a pretty face. Oh, and one more thing.  Elbow your spouse in the ribs if they utter objections about the kids having second helpings of ice cream or anyone getting “a little chunky.”  Seriously.

To hear more about The Price of Privilege, listen to Madeline Levine on NPR.

This morning, I innocently opened my freezer to see if it contained any frozen spinach for tonight’s dinner.  The next thing I knew, I was compulsively emptying each shelf and spreading the contents all over my kitchen.  The freezer isn’t very big, yet for some reason, I felt like I hit the jackpot – there were treasures buried deep inside that I had completely forgotten about.  And there were some that made me laugh out loud, such as the star-shaped ice cubes made from leftover coffee.  But, I am a recycler, so I wasn’t surprised.  (Coffee ice cubes are a great way to make iced coffee without diluting the coffee’s rich flavor.)

I was most excited to find some frozen pesto and marinara that I made over the summer when the produce was at its peak of flavor.  There was a chunk of frozen lemon juice, saved from the last of the lemons on our tree last year.  I was also happy to find some ice cubes of coconut milk (which taste awesome when tossed into freshly steamed rice) and some parmesan cheese rinds (that lend a fantastic flavor to simmering homemade broths or minestrone soup).  There was also a big bag of frozen, peeled bananas that were too old and tired for my kids to enjoy the first time around.  (They transform smoothies by making them thick and ice-creamy.  And of course, they are ideal for banana bread.)

I was relieved to see that not much had gone to waste. There were only a few bags of leftover shredded chicken that were too frost bitten to salvage.  Then again, my dogs won’t know the difference.

Are there any buried treasures in your freezer?

Thanks to Jenna from Food With Kid Appeal, for this week’s installment of What’s Cooking with YOUR Kids.  I love how she clearly explains all of the steps that the kids can do on this recipe!

My kindergartner, Big Boo, has homework a couple times a week, sigh.  Often its stuff we can do in the car, sometimes he’s got to make a list of blue things, or opposite words.  This week one of the options was “help mom or dad cook dinner.”   The boys have been in the kitchen with me since they were old enough to sit next to me on the counter, and later stand on a foot-stool.  Now that they’re both older they usually run and play in the house while I cook.  I can get a lot more done, with a lot less mess, but I miss them!  I was happy the school gave me an enthusiastic helper for one meal.

The meal we worked together on was, Rice Salad, wilted brussels sprouts and salisbury steak (minus gravy).  Big Boo was able to do the following tasks:

• Shuck the corn (and gobble up all the silk)
• Add vinaigrette ingredients
• Vigorously mix the vinaigrette.
• Scoop avocado out of the peel.
• Rinse grape tomatoes
• Add rice to salad bowl
• Stir salad
• Taste salad
• Add cranberries to the Brussels sprouts
• Work the spices into the hamburger meat with his fingers
• Put the prepared dishes on the table.

Keep reading →

I just love it when I get to combine two of my favorite activities:  cooking with kids and community service. Share Our Strength’s Great American Bake Sale is coming up, and this year we are all in for something special.  On April 17, 2010, food bloggers will be hosting bake sales across the nation to raise funds to fight childhood hunger.

We are gathering bloggers from all over the country to help lead and organize bake sales in their area.  We could use some additional help, especially if you don’t see your region represented here.  A quick kudos to those who are participating already: Keep reading →

Do you have any idea how I can get the people at the San Rafael City School District Offices to watch Jamie Oliver’s TED acceptance speech?  If they did, wouldn’t they feel compelled to change our school lunch program?

Jamie’s wish:  ”I wish for everyone to help create a strong, sustainable movement to educate every child about food, inspire families to cook again and empower people everywhere to fight obesity.”

Have a look…and let me know if you have any ideas for how to persuade the school district to open their eyes and consider real change.

This week’s installment of What’s Cooking with YOUR Kids is from Kelly of Two Kids Cooking, an adorable blog featuring cooking videos of her children.

Thanks for hosting this series – it’s a great idea.

Since we host an online Kids Cooking show, many of our family cooking stories are caught on tape. But, even when it’s not for the show, we love spending time in the kitchen together. With busy schedules, quality family time is something we’re always striving for more of making and eating our meals together is one way we do that.

Alex and Soph are really fun to cook with. Sophia is always looking for new recipes we can cook together and Alex loves experimenting with his own recipes.

For Halloween this year, there’s one instance where his inner-scientist really came out.  We were making Peanut Butter Spider Cookies and Alex was in charge of pouring in the flour and then the vanilla. As he poured the vanilla onto the flour, the vanilla rolled off the flour rather than penetrating and soaking into it. Alex found this amazing. As he watched, he muttered these words:

“Wow! Flour has repellent properties? That could be useful – mental note.”

Moments like these happen all the time when we’re in the kitchen together; Memories we’ll remember and refer to throughout our lives.

We’d also like to thank Michelle for letting us share our story as well as for sharing her passion through her Blog and all of her other projects. Thanks Michelle!

Now, go cook together!

Do you have any fun stories and photos to share about cooking with YOUR kids?  I hope to share at least one reader story every week and can’t wait to hear about your adventures in the kitchen with your kids. Here is what you need to do.

p.s.  Pass it on!

As you probably could have guessed, I am a die hard Farmer’s Market fan.  Unless I have too much work to do, I am there – rain or shine.  It’s my happy place.  Farmers are proud of their crops, customers chat about delicious food and compare recipes, and there are loads of delicious samples to taste.

Johan, my apple vendor and long-time friend, has been asking when I’ll be a part of the market, dispensing advice to parents about how to involve their children in the kitchen – or spreading the gospel of how to make kale chips.  Bad news, Johan – the market won’t allow me in.

I need to interrupt myself for a moment.  It’s time that I confront one of my personality flaws.  Instead of avoiding conflict, I think I’ll embrace it.  Right here, in this post.  (Just don’t tell the farmer’s market.)

But before I begin my rant, I should start by saying that I love the Marin Farmer’s Market.  Fresh fish from Pat, veggies galore from Andrew, soup to die for from Deborah, and amazing tamales from…the tamale guy.  And I am so proud of you for accepting food stamps, reducing waste, and giving tours to school children.

So, where was I?  Oh, right.  The farmer’s market won’t allow me to set up shop and help families learn how to use market produce with their children.

But they welcome entertainers, such as the puppet lady whose furry companions dance to the tunes from Sesame Street.  And they have jumpy houses…two of them.  Maybe the board of directors thinks that these types of entertainment will entice moms and caregivers to come to the market.  My farmer friends tell me that it works: they come, get a cup of coffee and a pastry or waffle, watch the show and bounce around in the jumpy.  And then they leave, without buying any produce.   Some parents that I have spoken with say that they avoid bringing their children altogether.  The jumpy is too much of a distraction and prevents them from getting their shopping done.

Even though I am complaining a little, I don’t have anything against puppet artists or bouncy houses.  They are fun.  And the Farmer’s Market’s policy clearly states that they “enjoy clowns or any entertainment for children and families.”  Their policy also says that they have “extremely limited spaces for commercial vendors.  The commercial vendors we currently have at our markets are an enhancement to the atmosphere and overall market experience.”  I see how I wouldn’t fit in there – I would only be helping families become better customers at the farmer’s market.  And I would be inspiring kids to cook and eat healthy and seasonal food.  That wouldn’t enhance the market experience at all.

Silly me, for even trying.