Monday, April 6th, 2009...8:44 am
Negotiating Dessert with the Kids
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Does this sound familiar: “How much more do I have to eat before I can have dessert?” If so, you are not alone. In fact, we started hearing this so often at our table that we decided to stop serving dessert every night. Dessert was becoming such a powerful incentive to eat their “growing food” that our kids were no longer listening to their bodies. Instead of considering how full they were, they were completely focused on the prize at the end. Now, we only offer dessert randomly, as an unexpected treat or as part of an afterschool snack.
Just a few things to consider when entering into Dessert Negotiations with your children:
- By bargaining with your child about how much broccoli they have to eat before they get dessert, your child learns that dessert is better than broccoli. Otherwise, why would they have to bargain?
- If you want to include dessert every night, consider offering it with the meal. Some kids will eat dessert first, of course, but then they will most likely move on to the rest of their dinner.
- As the parent, you get to decide what to offer for dessert. Have options available that you are okay having your kids consume. Consider foods that are made from real ingredients and not ones with chemical names you can’t pronounce.
Photo from: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
9 Comments
April 7th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Great advice! I grew up with dessert as a reward rather than part of the meal and found it distorted my eating habits. Now I plan for balanced meals that include protein, fruits and vegetables and calcium — with or without dessert. A low calorie main course allows for more calories for dessert. But I love your idea of making it a complete meal and not necessarily a two-course meal. Thanks.
April 7th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Hi Evelyn,
Thanks for your thoughts. I agree – there is nothing like a great dessert, especially when dinner has been healthy and I can afford the extra calories! No guilt, just pure enjoyment!
April 7th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Our kids believe that fruit is dessert that they get to enjoy at the end of all meals! Unless we’re out with friends or walk by a sweet shop, they don’t even ask for anything more.
April 10th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Funny …. my parents use to tell us all the time, finish dinner you get dessert. My sister would ask what dessert was first before she ate it ….wise!
April 10th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
G-Yes, fruit IS worthy of being a dessert. I always thought it was funny that we call junky stuff “treats” when the real treats are truly delicious and good for us.
D-Your sister WAS smart! I bet she threw your parents many curve balls. I still hear parents telling their kids that they have to finish what they took before they get dessert. But some kids (like my son!) have no concept of how much food is on a serving spoon – and sometimes he gives himself way more than he intended. It’s all in the learning, though
Thanks to both of you for visiting!!!
April 12th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Oh I LOVE this article too. I’ve seen so many adults with eating disorders and when I say “I bet as a child you were told ‘eat everything up and then you can have pudding’” I see this instant lightbulb going on.
My daughter has taken that on for herself – she has started saying ‘I suppose I can’t have pudding because I didn’t finish my meal.’ Do they get that from books? !LOL! I don’t remember ever saying that to her.
Isn’t it weird, Perhaps I’ll start putting it all on the table together, like you suggested. That will be interesting.
Thanks for the inspiration.
What are your ideas for good tasting puddings that are also healthy?
April 13th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Mmmmm. Pudding… We love tapioca in this house – it has quite a bit of sugar in it, but all of the ingredients are recognizable and made of real food. That’s the true test in my book
April 13th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Hi Michelle, yes, good point about the *what* of dessert. As we sort out how to deal with the sugar thing (as I posted about today at http://www.bostonmamas.com/2009/04/negotiating_sugar_battles.html), I’m at least glad that what we do have around the house is organic or all natural. We almost never buy boxed baked goods from the grocery store, opting instead to make our own.
Also, for your reader asking about pudding… I posted this great chocolate pudding recipe earlier: http://www.bostonmamas.com/2009/01/favorite_chocolate_pudding.html — my recipe revision uses 2% milk and cuts back the original sugar (plus I serve with strawberries) so it’s not as bad for you.
-Christine
April 13th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Thanks Christine – it looks like great minds think alike
I am so happy you had a chocolate pudding recipe to suggest to Mrs. Green – home made is so wonderful!
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